2 April 1986: D-Day
Wednesday, April 2, 1986, 8:15 AM
Denver Stapleton Airport
Today is D- (as in departure)
day. After more than 6 months of
preparation I’m finally off to South Africa.
I feel really out of it. All this
time, I’ve wanted so badly to leave Denver and have an international adventure.
Now, I’m scared – well, maybe not
scared, but weird anyway. Am I doing the
right thing? Am I crazy to leave
Colorado? I suppose all this anxiety is
normal, but I’m telling myself that it’s inappropriate to feel this way. Guess I’ll just “be” with these feelings for a
while. And in the meantime, I’ll do some
writing about my plans for the coming year.
First of all, some basic ground rules for survival and sanity maintenance:
1) Get rid of your ego. That is, don’t get mad about anything short of getting shot, maybe. Always be polite and PATIENT, if that’s humanly possible for me! Hide your feelings (except where appropriate) under lock and key. You can always get them out of your system through writing.
2) Be friendly. As much of an effort as it is, try to get yourself to talk to strangers. Listen to all their stories whether boring or not – you may learn something you can write about or gain some other useful information. Don’t argue except where appropriate. And be careful about expressing your opinions, especially with regards to their country. On the other hand, don’t hesitate to express opinions about YOUR country. After all, I’m the expert on that one! If they want to bad mouth the ol’ USA, let ‘em. Patriotic shit isn’t worth getting hot under the collar for, right?
3) Trust everyone when it comes to minor matters. If your trust is betrayed, so what? Be extremely careful and don’t trust anyone when it comes to critical stuff. That doesn’t mean you should be or act paranoid, just careful. And of course be careful with your stuff – equipment as well as your written, recorded, and photo creations. Don’t get too confident or you may wind up with a sjambok [a long, stiff South African whip, originally made of rhinoceros hide] across the ear or your ass in the tronk [Afrikaans for “jail”]. Most of this stuff is just common sense…and that’s something I’m going to need a lot of.
4) Don’t expect too much of yourself. Write a lot and try to shoot a few pix every day, but don’t work yourself to death or feel guilty if you take it easy or don’t get a damn thing accomplished during a given day.
5) Also expect to fuck up and often. That’s part of the experience and part of the story. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid, just human. The only reason most people don’t fuck up more is because they never try anything adventurous.
6) Be careful about what you eat, drink, smoke, or otherwise ingest. Better you should be uncool than get sick or feel like shit. Be sure to sleep as much as you want and need. Better to be lazy than tired.
7) Don’t be too cautious. You want to have some adventures or there will be nothing to write about.
8) Don’t be judgmental – probably impossible for me. Instead, write descriptively about what you are inclined to judge and get it out of the way.
9) Don’t spend all your time writing about yourself and your experiences. Try to get into other people’s heads, as well. Hopefully, I won’t have to spend too much time on this machine in self-analysis/self-therapy.
People are really strange, aren’t they? I mean, just looking at this crowd waiting to board AA flight 572 for Chicago makes me realize I shouldn’t worry about what others think of me.
10:45 AM, somewhere above a sea of clouds over Nebraska
Oh boy, this little Brother typewriter fits perfectly on the fold-down tray table of a 727. As the plane took off an hour ago, I said goodbye to Denver, the Rockies, Pikes Peak, and Colorado. I felt as if I was abandoning an old friend, or should I say “old friends” back on the ground.
I feel uninspired to write much of anything right now. What can you say about flying in a 727 at 39,000 feet especially when you’ve done it 100 times before? Still it’s good to be writing again. There have been so many fucking details to attend to over these past few weeks. Thus, there has been little or no time for writing, exercise, Afrikaans study, skiing, hiking, biking, or just fucking off. All I can say is that this damn trip better be worthwhile given all the work it has been to put it together over the past six months. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll have to return to Denver with my tail between my legs. I suppose the trip “working out” can take many forms, but I better stick it out over there at least six months.
Maybe one thing I’ll learn for sure on this trip is just how much I do or do not like being alone…and with only short-term and new friends for companionship. Most people don’t like that, and they sacrifice adventures and new experiences for the security of familiarity.
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